“When your actions match what you think and say you’re going to do, then you’ll be happy.”

I came across a quote of similar nature to this the other day and it has stuck with me like glue. It just makes so much sense.

For example: if you say you’re going to start a diet and lose 10 kg’s, feel confident that you are going to follow through but then stuff your face with everything in sight, our words and feelings don’t match our actions and I’m damn sure you’ll feel shitty about it.

Or if you tell yourself that your career is a priority, yet you party all week and your attendance at university is poor, again your actions don’t match what your feeling and telling yourself and the cycle continues.

The funny thing about having your thoughts, words and actions all muddled up is that most of the time you don’t even realize you’re doing it, or how negative of an impact it is having on your well being.

For years I have spent countless hours in the gym and on the football field training my arse off to be the best I could be while simultaneously pissing it against the wall and partying most weekends. For years I have wanted one thing yet my actions indicated otherwise.

This lead to an endless cycle of excitement from setting goals, small highs along the way from ‘having a good time’ on the weekends and then regret afterwards because I didn’t get to where I set out to go.

It has taken me more than 25 years to figure this out but I now realize why I did this and it comes down to one thing: I gave more of a shit about pleasing others and missing out on a good night out than I did about what I truly wanted for myself.

Have I learnt a lesson? Yes. Stop taking notice about what other people think or say you should do and trust your instincts. For my whole life I have known what I wanted, yet never have I had the courage to go after it without fear of what other people will think.

Deep down we know the path we want to take and that’s why we tell ourselves we want to get fit, get an education, party less and do more. The one thing that is standing between aligning what we feel, say and do is having the courage to take that first step without fear of rejection or ridicule from others.

The next step in holding this alignment is to develop discipline. I would like to define discipline as this:

Discipline is choosing between what you want NOW and what you want MOST

When you decide to take action in line with what you say and feel you will start to feel a level of consistent fulfilment. Although this doesn’t come without its challenges.

A perfect example of discipline in action can be seen when someone is trying to save money for something. Say you desire to save up enough money to buy your first home. Most weeks you will be tempted to spend money on clothing, going out, buying a new car, going out for dinner etc but are you prepared to choose between what you want now (car, dinner, clothing etc) and what you want most (your new home)?

Aligning what you say, feel and do is the first step. Having the discipline to follow things through is the second.

I see so many people that have so much potential and so much promise, yet, like me, lack the courage to break away from what they ‘think’ they should do versus what they know they should do.


No one knows who you are as a person or what path you should take better than you do. So, listen to you and trust yourself and be disciplined enough to follow your plan through until the end. If I’ve learnt anything in my first quarter century that I could pass on, this would be it, and I hope you can learn from it too.